Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Thanks Canada

So, Ashley and I have been feeling kind of bad. We figure, we bash on Canada sooo hard all the time, that we never get a chance to praise them for things we actually like about them.

So, with out further ado, I give you: Top Ten Things we like about Canada!

1) We all love those little chewy fish-shaped candies. Turns out Swedish Fish are made in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

2) TOM GREEN!!! He is so funny. I have yet to meet a person who doesn't enjoy the Bum Bum Song.

3) We all know life in America is a drag until you reach the magic age of 21. But in Canada, the drinking age varies between 18 and 19. Thanks Canada for making our summer road trips so much fun.

4) We elves like to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. And where can we find syrup? That's right, bring on the Maple Syrup.

5) Flannel is all the rage now- and it looks great depending on the person that's wearing it.

6) I Hate (Almost) Everything About You Canada, except Three Days Grace. They were formed in Norwood, Ontario, Canada.

7) Tim Hortons, I'm sad to say, is better than Starbucks. I'll give you this one.

8) Ashley inists the Yukon must be given props. Why? I have no clue. All I know it's the smallest Canadian federal territory.

9) It influences South Park to make amazing episodes and characters. Among them is the adorable little Ike (whom is Ashley's favorite next to Butters).

10) Last bust certainly not least, drum roll please.....

HOCKEY! And to be more specific, their amazing export of hockey playing talent!

So all in all, thank you Canada.

But I feel like I'm missing something. Oh yeah, you're suckiness overpowers the only ten good things you have produced. So with that being said, Canada- YOU SUCK!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Canada Is One Big Joke

I'm so sorry for taking a hiatus. Canada is just so uninteresting that Ashley and I had run out of things to talk about.

Since I feel so bad, I'll leave you with my favorite Canadian joke:

The Habs are going to win the Stanley Cup. 


But seriously, the real joke is this:

The Maple Leafs are going to win the Stanley Cup. 


Okay for real (By the way, it's more hockey than Canadian. But then again, Canada is hockey, so...) :

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at centre ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

"No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"

The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head "No. They're all at the funeral."